Find Debora on IG @deboradivirgilio

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We explore the slow death of chivalry, the emotional and energetic labor of dating, and why effort still matters. From questioning traditional roles to diving into existential kinks and our pull toward drama, we share personal reflection with psychological insight. A raw look at self-worth, desire, and what our experiences might be trying to show us.

Today, I briefly discuss how intuition can often be overridden by desire. I emphasize the some of the key differences to distinguish the two as well as the importance of discernment.

Today, I talk about the key differences between anxiety and intuition and how an unlikely archetype actually saved me from myself.

Below is the link to Myss’s video which I mention throughout the episode.

I hope you enjoy,

xx

Ky

I would love to hear your thoughts and have a continued dialogue around this topic.

My heart and mind is open, and ever changing.

with love,

ky

I am a fairy-

I think

I used to be a human

And then i decided that is wasnt soft enough for me.

I wanted wings

I always longed to escape the noise,

Return back to the trees,

Sing to golden frogs,

And get medicine from the mangroves.

I wanted to lay my head down and let the river gently wash my hair

And my thoughts

Away.

I wanted to walk alongside the creek that sustains the lives of my friends

Like the moss and the monkeys

And fly on the backs of the crescent serpent eagle when my own wings get too tired

I want to carry cashews and dragonfruit with me wherever i go

So that if anyone is hungry

Or wants to sit for conversation,

I will have something to offer.

I always want to have something to offer because i so graciously receive

What is given to me every moment.

Since ive been a fairy i realized

That life is actually quite simple

If you give up everything you thought you ever knew.

You see fairies don’t come with a guidebook,

They didn’t go to school

Or get a fancy degree

They were taught to collect nuts and fruit

And make friends with the bees and the puddles.

They weren’t even taught to fly

Their mums just told them that they’ll know when its time

And they trusted that because their mums also told them to use their hearts as the map

The map to every question they could ever ponder.

Sometimes i go back into the human world and i see the fairies there too

Some in disguise,

Some not.

Sometimes i show my wings and it makes people mad

But maybe that anger is really sadness

Because someone must have clipped their wings

Or they just haven’t grown in yet.

I will always be part of both worlds but my heart stays my compass

And my wings will always take me home.

I have been thinking a lot about the paradox of being ‘rooted’ vs being a ‘wanderer’. Both seem to have deep compromises and trade offs. Every wanderer I know longs for community but is unable to commit to community when it gets hard (myself included). I see people scraping the bottom of the barrel for cash, people forcing themselves into polyamorous relationships, unable to one stay in one place, remain in one job, be with one person… The list continues. Deep down, what many of these people crave is deep, conscious, intimacy, whether it is in the form of a romantic, platonic, or sacred community connection.. Wanderers like these often suffer (or are gifted) with the fatal knowledge of choice. Untethered, limitless, abundant, choice. Freedom, they might call it. But with this sense of freedom comes a deep sense of loneliness- knowing that it is impossible to deepen into connection while being so transient. Even if one person wished to stay in these hubs that like minded people find themselves in, they would have to make peace with the fact that other humans will come with open hearts and leave, as you once did too. Hardly a community when it has a turnover rate of six months.

The other option that lingers in the back mind of wanderers is taking the traditional route. Joining their family and childhood friends at ‘home’. Something they watched their parents do and still consciously chose not to follow. There is something so comforting about the mundane, comfort at the cost of consistent paycheques, traded off for rent, or better yet, a mortgage.

I have teetered back and forth between these two worlds for some time now, each version feeling, a deep feeling of lack hidden beneath the surface.

How can I be satisfied with a routine that keeps me chained to one space?

How can I be fulfilled if I leave beautiful places before being able to grow long-term connections that are actually accessible to me, not just thousands of miles away?

Will one place slow my spiritual growth?

Which aligns with my most sacred path?

Can I swallow the gut feeling and grow roots into the ground anyways?

You see, when you start what I’ve started, there’s no going back. I want to blame it on my travels and nomadic life but this feeling has always been deep in me- it’s what brought me here in the first place.

What happened was that I chose to listen.

I haven’t found a solution- I think these are one of those paradoxes that remain a paradox.

I think I will just choose to remain soft and kind to myself as I allow the path to unfold for me.

And it shall be,

And it shall be.